He Speak to Me.... Bible Study

Week 2 A Single Minded Worship... I have come to a place of desiring more understanding than knowledge. I feel this has risen out of my devotion to recover from painful years, which finally was greater than my fear leading me into the arms of Jesus, for salvation. For this world truly had nothing for me. It had all consumed me and left me empty. I was caught up in the race of acceptance and the daily struggle was unbearable. My salvation and spiritual growth is reaching for greater understanding of God's great mercy and grace. I am humbled by salvation's great cost and long for my heart to be obedient to my heavenly Father

I must consider myself set aside to give God glory. There is a preparation of stillness, repentance of the grateful and thankful heart, and an undistracted mind. The word of God prepares me for places to be still. Green pastures. It teaches me how to be still. Be still and know that I am God. Release my worry, anxieties and fears. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. The cross is my place to lay down my acts and thoughts that are against my fellow man and myself. Let us not forget ourselves. In the end, we are there with Him. Alone. Have we, have I layed it all down and raised it all up for His glory.

Daily Devotion

There was suffering this morning. I was longing for departure from all that had occured. I, like Job sought a place of refuge where the endurance of life was no longer in my hands. I sat with my Bible and coffee in the yard overlooking all creation with a haze of little joy. The Bible fell from my lap and Job appeared. Persistent seeking. I read that we blossom like a flower and then wither. This was my morning prayer, for I felt like a frail dry withered flower. I knew God was my first place to calm me. I needed His embrace. His Fatherly arms to hold me close. It truly is the willing that seek him that will find comfort amongst the gray days of our lives. He will restore and replinish. He holds us accountable to come to Him during these time and not turn away to ourselves. We may turn away from each other at the time of our pain, but we must turn to God to restore us to sanity.

There was a passage that I had underlined earlier in my recovery. I had come to understand I had spent much of my life denying my pain. I did not truly tell God how I felt. I was afraid of telling Him how angry I was at all the tragedy. I knew He wouldn't listen to me. I was too far gone. This left me with an overpowering consuming world of worthlessness. I longed for a whole heart. I could grasp it. But it was not for me. I destroyed myself through destructive thoughts and behaviors for years.

Job 9:27-28 If I decided to forget my complaints, to put away my sad face and be cheerful, I would still dread all the pain.

I, like Job have suffered similar circumstances. The loss of children, my worldly goods, a home, my health, my spouse, and the condemnation of people. Praise only to a Merciful God, there is also another similar circumstance...I also abide in the Lord.

Sunday Sermon April 13, 2007

Worship. People can display joy and rejoicing for hours over a football game, yet can not show any joy for the Creator of the Universe. Pastor Jack's sermon drew out the heart of man's greatest fear. The acceptance of man. Our society approves of excitement over a house or car or even a piece of jewelry than showing that great enthusiasm for the one and only Savior of the World. I reflect on a time when I use to put faith and worth in things of this world that in the end brought me little joy and everlasting self-worth. Overtime, items just built up and I stayed empty. My worship comes from a heart that is full of grace and mercy, thanks and love, above all worth. God is worthy of my rejoicing in His Name. I should give Him all the worship He deserve. Daily.